I had a lovely weekend. The weather was nice, and I was in high spirits.
Friday was a relaxing night in with G . Saturday, G and I went to a little lake near by, to visit some friends camping there. It was nice, we ate super healthy veggies and fruits, sat by the beach for a while, played some cards and chatted. G wanted to pick up some “gluten free” beer, but I quickly reminded him we aren’t allowed alcohol on the elimination diet.
Our other friends were having some twisted teas, but even then I didn’t want one that bad. It would have been nice to let loose, get wasted, and have a super fun filled high day! But then again, that’s just it. I don’t want to just have a couple. Whats the point in 1 or 2? Add calories, make you sleepy. The only way I would have wanted to drink is if we were drinking to get DRUNK. Who wants to put alcohol in their systems with no outcome? Duh- not me. Which is why I don’t drink anymore- and honestly, I am okay with that.
G and I went for a nice bike ride last night. I said to him- “You know, our lives may not be as exciting or fun-filled as they used to be, but that’s okay for now. Because with my high- high’s I realized also comes my low- lows. Yes lately my life hasn’t been exciting and impulsive and fast tracked- like I used to live- it is more stable, and real, and I think about a lot now before I do/say it. My high’s are not worth my lows.
G actually said, “this is my idea of fun babe, you are growing and changing and finding out who you are.” What an amazing man I have. He has stuck with me through my worst, and he is going to be there for my best!
On another note, I got a text today from a friend. She has a drinking problem- I know, because all last summer we struggled a lot together. This girl is actually like me in a lot of ways, but she is still choosing the demon drink. She said today that she had a horrible weekend, her anxiety is through the roof and would she please be able to come over tonight to talk. I of course said yes, because I am always willing to help another friend going through something I have been through myself. But it also got me thinking, WOW, I so don’t miss that, and I am sooo happy that’s not me anymore. That used to be me every Monday after a binge. It was a nice reminder of why I’m doing this. (Thanks God)
It got me to thinking about all the amazing changes I’ve made lately- yes I have sacrificed a lot and been felt left out and other things- but I would not trade where I am today for the world. I eat better, sleep better, have better relationships, am in better shape, and just all around a better person.
I am no longer afraid to be who I am- like it or not!