I made it to two weeks. I did actually feel really sick on Sunday morning, and I knew if I had a tiny hoot I would feel a lot better, so I did just one hit off a joint, and I didn’t feel better, and I felt guilty.
I am going to say that was a small slip up- as since that, and it is Wednesday now, I haven’t touched it. But I realize how even 1 day of smoking, makes you wanna say fuck it, as Monday, I almost felt like I was starting at day 1 again, but I pushed through, So basically, 2 weeks off. I did start drinking last week, as I love to numb, but caught myself and haven’t had any drinks since the weekend, I want to make sure I don’t quit weed and then start drinking heavily again.
I am very aware of cross addiction, and I am trying super hard not to do that. I am going to try to get addicted to working out instead.
I have been ANGRY and irritable, at literally everything. My brain races, makes me stay up all night regretting things I have said/done. I know that doesn’t get me anywhere but its the truth. I finally got my first good nights sleep last night but I still feel tired. And cant focus. At all, If I didn’t own my own business I think i would probably be fired. I don’t have much motivation to do anything. I also have this dull ache in my head for about 3 days now. Exercise seemed to help it, and sitting in the sauna yesterday, but then I woke up again this morning with the same dull ache.
I snapped at my Fiance, for 3 days straight. I actually just texted him and said I am so sorry, just ignore me, I have always stuffed down my anger issues with weed and it is all coming up.
One thing I am happy about is that my lungs are clearing out. I have never in my life horked up black stuff before, but I did today. Even though that is gross, I know my lungs are getting rid of the 12 years of tar.
I did a drug home test last week, and it tested definitely positive. I am going to wait another week and then do another, just because of that small hoot I had, probably set me back.
I am still waking up drenched in sweat, having vivid back dreams. I wonder how long this all will last?
I am 1 week away from the longest I have gone without weed and I love it. Its like being re born, all these new things happening.