I just got back from the long weekend- where there was a lot of pot smoking done.
It isn’t even fun for me anymore. I just smoke, get tired, eat, smoke more, eat more, go to bed. I find that I am beginning to get so lethargic that anything seems like too much work.
I haven’t been keeping up with healthy eating, exercising, I barely even take my makeup off or brush my teeth before bed anymore.
I vividly remember last summer as being one of the happiest times in my life. I had such a strong care to get to the bottom of my problems. I created such a healthy routine that included weekly massages, yoga everyday, tongue scraping, reading and meditating and being present.
I smoked the last of my weed yesterday at around 4pm. It didn’t even get me high. I feel guilty when I smoke now. I did a night time meditation, and used my essential oils to help me do some deep breathing. I fell asleep relatively easily (I think from being so exhausted from the lake). I did wake up from 2-4 though and had a hard time going back to sleep. Always with my constant thoughts that wont go away. I finally made myself a cup of warm milk, and listened to some more meditation and fell asleep again.
I did sweat a bit last night and I am irritable and tired today. I have this lethargic feeling like I waked and baked and have that heavy feeling in my eyes. I could have slept another 10 hours. I think that’s my body working hard to clean out my system.
I am feeling low key anxious- and have no motivation to do anything. I feel sad, and don’t really want to socialize or do anything. I even have this feeling like I should have a couple drinks tonight to take the edge off. NOPE. Not this time. If you want what you’ve never had, you’ve got to do what you’ve never done.
I cant wait for my cannitrol pills to get here.
I hope they do something.