Caffeine Withdrawal

HOLY SMOKES!!  I had no clue I was this addicted to coffee.

Yesterday was the start of my elimination diet.  So the first day without caffeine, alcohol (actually day 43) gluten, soy, dairy, eggs, sweets, processed foods, corn etc.

Was I in for a big surprise.  The day started normally- but by the time I arrived at the office, I was noticing my energy levels were low.  I felt lethargic and sluggish all day, not focused and had a hard time having conversations.

Around 4:30 this heads splitting headache occurred, and would not go away no matter what.  It was like this deep throbbing in my skull, and it continued all evening.

I couldn’t keep any food down, and  before supper I started to get really sick and started throwing up.

I was hot/cold, in bed tired but couldn’t sleep, I was throwing up, head was throbbing.  It was the WORST day I have had in a very very long time.  This was me yesterday.


I had to have a hit of my bong last night, as I couldn’t take the withdrawal, but surprisingly it didn’t help much (when it usually helps everything).  I’ve decided that I am going to still smoke weed during this elimination diet.  As I realized some profound things yesterday.

  1. I am much more addicted to things than I think I am
  2. Caffeine withdrawal is no joke
  3. Coming off of everything at once is not wise, and will probably lead me back to “fuck it all”
  4. I think caffeine may be the reason for my stomach upset
  5. I now really want to live a drug/stimulant free life- its a HUGE eye opener that I NEED something to survive- literally.

I don’t believe I could have gotten through yesterday if I hadn’t already started this sober journey.  Hell because it called for being off booze for 21 days- impossible!  Being sober is making me want to fix other areas of my life that have popped up.  I want to listen to my body.  I think before- I would overdo it, then drink coffee to mask it.  Instead of listening if i’m tired, or hungry, or need water.  I just drink coffee and go on with whatever else is on my to-do list.

Also, this elimination diet, is really taking my mind off alcohol, not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but one good thing is G is doing the elimination diet with me too.  So no booze for him for 3 weeks 🙂

Much Love, xo


Yoga- Heals on all levels

I dabbled into my first yoga class about 2 months before I got sober, and have been going religiously ever since.  I believe beginning my yoga practice around that time was meant to happen (as I believe everything happens for a reason).  I believe yoga helped me get sober, and is helping to keep me sober.  Yoga is now a huge tool in recovery for me.


The ways yoga has benefited me are endless.

  1. I can quite my mind and give back to my body for 1 hour a day, and everything else sits outside the door.
  2. I feel so light and happy when I leave yoga
  3. I know I am doing my body, mind and soul wonders
  4. I am SO MUCH more flexible, and thoroughly enjoy stretching now
  5. My confidence has sky rocketed- each new pose I can do or the further in my splits I get, I feel a great sense of accomplishment
  6. It is restorative and leaves you feeling rejuvenated
  7. Helps to uncover emotional blocks and feelings we have buried deep down (so critical in recovery)
  8. Teaches me to sit through discomfort instead of running from it
  9. Stretches out my hips, joints, ligaments and any stress hidden in those areas
  10. Helps you to connect with people maybe you normally wouldn’t (not my party friends)
  11. Yoga is transformative, and many addicts need to replace old wounds and hurts with new joy and happiness.
  12. Yoga teaches me discipline, and to be patient
  13. Is a GREAT stress and anxiety reliever
  14. Yoga makes you feel POWERFUL- and like I can take on any new challenge
  15. Yoga makes me feel whole again

These are just SOME of the benefits I have noticed since I started yoga. I incorporate it with my weightlifting and cardio and it gives me a wonderful feeling of balance in all areas.

Cheers to yoga!

Much love, xo


My Top Fitness Tips

  • Create a plan, and stick to it, consistently.
  • Find out your maintenance calories, minus 500cals and start eating that amount of calories a day to lose 1-2 lbs per week.  You can use an online calorie calculator.  If you have a lot of weight to lose, you may lose quicker than that.  When we don’t fuel our bodies for success and health they crash! Eating too few calories causes us to be nutrient deficient.   I track my diet on
  • Incorporate exercise into your life.
  • Weight training should be done atleast 3 times per week, and then a REST day in between.  Cardio can we done everyday, but is not necessary at all.  Abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym.
  • Our muscles are broken down in the gym, and re built when you rest.
  • Try to eat your body weight x 1 in protein per day
  • Play around with macros- high carb vs low carb.. some work better for others
  • Try to eat healthy, nourishing food 90% of the time, and treat yourself the other 10%
  • Nutrition is the NUMBER ONE important thing when trying to get lean.  You can not out exercise a bad diet.
  • You will fail, probably lots of times, DO NOT GIVE UP.  Failures and mistakes are so critical for growth, and each time you fail, you are still closer to your goal, and know so much more about yourself in the process.
  • Weight loss is not a linear equation.. it fluctuates up and down.
  • Don’t be hard on yourself, if you mess up and don’t follow through brush it off and start again.
  • Don’t weight yourself to often, pay attention to how your clothes fit etc.  Weighing yourself can cause you to lose motivation quickly as like I said weight loss is not linear.
  • Muscle weighs more than fat.  Don’t become frustrated if you don’t see the scale moving.  You may still weigh the same, but I guarantee you will be tighter, leaner, and smaller and your clothes will fit different.
  • Enjoy and TRUST the process.  You may stall, or hit plateaus, just shake it up, try new things, go to a new class, be patient, and the hard work will speak for itself!
  • Don’t try to do everything at once, try to incorporate small daily habits and goals.  This is not a crash diet, lose 10 lbs in one week.  It is a healthy, long term way of living.  So if you can’t see yourself sustaining your new plan, it’s not the right one.