Pink cloud + Homeopathy


I am feeling amazing since my caffeine detox ended.   I am 46 days sober, almost a week without sugar, dairy, gluten, caffeine, soy etc.  and I must say, I do feel a lot better.  I have been having sugar cravings, but somehow I have managed to resist them.

I went to a homeopathic doctor for the first time yesterday.  I am very into all natural household stuff, beauty products and holistic living.

I wanted to go to get a blood analysis, and to see from a different doctors perspective how my health is.  Especially because I have ditched so many of the unhealthy things I put into my body.

Boy, was I in for a shock.  He took the vile of my blood, and put it under the microscope so that I could see what it looked like on the big projector.  I could see that my red blood cells were clumping together,  a lot of them had no oxygen in the middle, and were not moving barely at all.  This is bad news. The doctor explained that I have clumping of the red blood cells, which is an extremely compromised immune system, and leads to many diseases.

He says it affects carrying oxygen to the blood, compromises my muscular and skeletal system, because I am not absorbing nutrients, minerals and calcium into my bones.  It is also not absorbing yeast, fungi, and calcium so I have calcium build up, fungi strands and yeast chains all over my insides.

He also noticed I have free radicals floating in my bowels (which lead to cancer), but says he isn’t too worried about that, and will correct itself once I balance my immune system.

He basically said, my hormones are off, my liver has given up on me, and is not excreting toxins like it should, and is not taking in nutrients like it should.    Everything is off.

I always thought I was so healthy, but maybe my immune system is the reason for stuff I never thought about before.  So, I have been put on an even more restricted diet.  No fruit now as well, no cold water, only warm foods, no raw vegetables.

As well as taking a bunch of herbal supplements, B-12, Blood purifier, hormone balancing supplements etc.  It is quite an extensive list, but my health is my number 1 priority.

I should have been very upset by this news but I was excited to take on a new challenge, and to fix my body holistically.  I am going back in 1 month for a follow up blood test.

I was talking to G last night, and just felt so thankful!  I was thankful I was an alcoholic, thankful for all the things that happened to lead me to here, just downright thankful for my life and this blog and the people I meet, and the things that are happening around me everyday.

If I never quit drinking, I never would have gone to see that doctor or addressed my poor immune system, my bad nutritional tendencies and a whole host of other things that are transpiring in my life because of this.





On the right track

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I have a deep understanding that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.   I know I am following a path to be a better person.  I am getting little signs from Him everyday.   Everyday that I wake up, another day added to my sober streak- I feel a huge sense of pride.  Now, being on day 3 without caffeine, that too, is becoming easier.  Three days without putting junk in my body.

I am realizing new things about myself everyday through this journey.  I am so thankful to be in this place, finally, after so much struggle.  I can see that there is a better way to live, and one I don’t have to be ashamed of.  I am liking who I am becoming. I am proud of me, I am taking care of myself and listening to myself, for perhaps the first time in my life.



Yoga- Heals on all levels

I dabbled into my first yoga class about 2 months before I got sober, and have been going religiously ever since.  I believe beginning my yoga practice around that time was meant to happen (as I believe everything happens for a reason).  I believe yoga helped me get sober, and is helping to keep me sober.  Yoga is now a huge tool in recovery for me.


The ways yoga has benefited me are endless.

  1. I can quite my mind and give back to my body for 1 hour a day, and everything else sits outside the door.
  2. I feel so light and happy when I leave yoga
  3. I know I am doing my body, mind and soul wonders
  4. I am SO MUCH more flexible, and thoroughly enjoy stretching now
  5. My confidence has sky rocketed- each new pose I can do or the further in my splits I get, I feel a great sense of accomplishment
  6. It is restorative and leaves you feeling rejuvenated
  7. Helps to uncover emotional blocks and feelings we have buried deep down (so critical in recovery)
  8. Teaches me to sit through discomfort instead of running from it
  9. Stretches out my hips, joints, ligaments and any stress hidden in those areas
  10. Helps you to connect with people maybe you normally wouldn’t (not my party friends)
  11. Yoga is transformative, and many addicts need to replace old wounds and hurts with new joy and happiness.
  12. Yoga teaches me discipline, and to be patient
  13. Is a GREAT stress and anxiety reliever
  14. Yoga makes you feel POWERFUL- and like I can take on any new challenge
  15. Yoga makes me feel whole again

These are just SOME of the benefits I have noticed since I started yoga. I incorporate it with my weightlifting and cardio and it gives me a wonderful feeling of balance in all areas.

Cheers to yoga!

Much love, xo



Our days are basically made up of our habits, good and bad.  We go on auto pilot through our days where things we do, have just become a HABIT.  IE, brushing teeth, going to work, coffee every morning, donuts in the staff room at break, etc.   I recently read the book “The Power of Habit”  It was a really good read, and I challenge everyone to give it a read.

It basically says, to change your life, you must change your habits.

Habits are built off a reward system.  To try to replace bad habits with good ones, you have to replace the habit that takes your urge away, with a healthier habit, but still receive the same reward.

I used to have a really productive week, or day, and come home to drink wine as my “reward”.  Now, instead I will do something good and healthy to my body, like buy a new item of clothing, go to the gym, get all my to-do list checked off.  And the feeling at the end is still the same reward I have been looking for.  Relaxation, contentment, feeling proud, feeling happy.

Lately I’ve been trying to add new simple, small habits into my morning/evening routines to become healthier and happier, instead of taking on everything all at once.

I am a person who loves  to overhaul all my bad habits in one day, start fresh and go at it with gusto!  That is, until I get a craving, or tired, cranky, bored, lazy and then just as fast as my motivation started, it waned.

I’ve done this with plenty of thing, cleanses, “diets”, beauty regimes, work out schedules, monthly goals..

I realized I can’t be so black and white anymore, I have to find a happy balance, and start incorporating small do-able daily habits to my life, and over time, those bad habits will naturally fall away!

So far my daily goals are:

  • protien shake everyday
  • take all my vitamins everyday
  • take off makeup, wash face and brush teeth every night
  • drink glass of warm water with lemon first thing every morning
  • drink as much water as I can

I challenge everyone to take inventory of their habits, even the ones we do on autopilot, and consider if any of these habits need shaking up!

Much love, xo



4 weeks sober!


As you can see from my last post, I didn’t succeed in kicking the evil drink, THAT TIME.  I have however, had more bad experiences drinking since then, aka. Hawaii and Phoenix (ironic right!?)


It has been 4 week since my last drink.  This time I can feel it.  It’s the final time.  I have never in my life gone 4 whole weeks without drinking since I was 13 years old.


But, oh it hasn’t been easy thus far.

In Phoenix, I ended up drinking far too much, not treating my boyfriend in an ideal way, fell off a bike and really hurt myself, couldn’t find my way home, and also was verbally abusive with some people I have issues with.  I wanted to die when I woke up the next morning.

I puked in 20 second intervals, all day long.  Couldn’t keep water down, anxiety was ripping my heart apart.  My poor boyfriend.  I tell him time and time again, this is it, I’m done.  He knows better.

But this time I mean’t it.  The whole rest of the trip I allowed everyone else to continue on drinking, enjoying time in the sun and beach, and I stayed sober!

I need to prove with my actions and not my words that I mean business.

I am proud of myself!!!  This past month I survived:

  • My best friends 24th birthday sober
  • My other friends 25th PUBCRAWL (I didn’t handle it exactly the way I imagined in my brain, everyone was doing shots and partying, even my boyfriend and I ended up being upset with him about it (irrelevant, but I thought he should have been supporting me more)
  • The WHO concert
  • Rest of my vacation in Mexico/Phoenix

Even though some of these things were hard, I  got through them, and I woke up sober!

That is something to be grateful for.  Oh and all my friends can’t believe my will power 🙂

Much Love, xo

Week 1-My Sober Journey

work in progress

I originally started this blog with intent to document my personal journey discovering my higher power and passions.  Now adding to this blog- I am going to document my sober journey in helps to keep myself motivated and accountable- and maybe in hopes of making some new sober connections 🙂

I have always struggled with alcohol- from a very early age.  Alcohol was around me everywhere.  I drank to get DRUNK with friends, and continued this reckless behavior into my mid-twenties.  Something about falling asleep, embarrassing myself and my boyfriend, feeling regret, shame and dealing with hangovers is no longer “just a good time” , “everyone is doing it”.  I become someone I do not like when I drink.  I am more argumentative, and selfish, and I just have a tunnel vision focus on one thing- get more alcohol to get you to that lovely, lushy drunk feeling you love oh so much.

After my last blackout- don’t worry I’ll let you in on all the dirty details later 😉  I have decided enough is enough.

This past weekend I survived my first weekend sans alcohol.  It went seemingly smooth considering it was a long weekend- Monday off from work- and Valentine’s weekend.  Both excuses I would have used to get bombed, and most likely fall asleep and ruin the entire weekend for my boyfriend.  Nope not this weekend.  We attended a fishing derby, went out for a great sushi valentines dinner, went to the dog park with our fur babies and watched tons of new films 🙂

I am quite proud of myself!

I have a vacation to Hawaii coming up in 10 days that is wearing on my mind.  I keep having the pesky little addict in me saying “come on, your going to be on vacation, you can enjoy a drink and control yourself”… but I don’t want to test those waters, as I KNOW I will enjoy the holiday probably more without the not knowing whats going to happen and horrible headaches.

Much love, xo